Unhappy Endings

A Poem

Photo by Maria Orlova via Pexels

i seem to have fallen
into the habit
of collecting
unhappy
endings —
those things
we don’t like to talk about
when the luster has faded
and love is no longer a balm.

oh, i did love him,
but sometimes the haze
would make him seem
like an untidy stranger
who’d somehow crept
into my sanctuary
and abolished
all sense of logic
and sanity.

and even though he called me
brilliant, lovely, a treasure,
perhaps the heart of it
was that i couldn’t see
the truth of it
for myself
but he kept on giving me
chances upon chances
to make things right.

but what can you do
when your mind’s the enemy?

but what can you do
when the panic bubbles up?