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Toxic Positivity Masks a Larger Problem in Society
Aren’t we tired of this narrative yet?
I have always disliked people telling me to smile.
The push usually came from men — “Come on, show me that pretty face” — but I think the platitude has come from women a lot more recently too.
I’m sorry, I don’t think smiling just for the sake of it will make me feel better — unless you feel uncomfortable with my lack of cheeriness in a world gone wrong.
“It’ll be okay” is also an issue, a phrase I shy away from, especially since I hate when the words slip out of my own mouth. Who am I to say how your life will go? Just because I’m out of my depth with responding to your sadness/grief/frustration/etc. doesn’t mean I should push onto you the ideals that allow me to sleep at night.
I’ve also adopted “I’m fine” — or some version of it — into my stock phrases for conversation. I don’t think I’m ever fooling anyone, but people just nod along and smile, acting as though it’s time to go back to normal now that those pesky feelings have been swept away.
It feels like we’re being conditioned to put away the emotions that scare us, to the point that we’re denying natural aspects of our personalities, moods, and circumstances. Why do we feel the need to give the A-okay that…
