Searching for a Soul Mate

A Poem

Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash

the pulsing starts
and i go mad from it —
in the reverence of my heartbeat,
trying to understand what it means
while hope falls and dies and withers on the vine

i look for you in every crowd —
“where are you, where are you, where are you” —
but there’s no hope, is there,
when you’re waiting on someone else’s line
to fall in tune with yours again and again?

i thought i heard your voice once —
telling me to sing, sing, sing —
and i screamed as if my life depended on it,
trying so hard to understand what it meant
and why you weren’t appearing from the shadows

i called you so many names over the years —
john and sebastian were my favorites —
but i never found you on a line,
waiting for me (just me)
to be the one

i ran through a crowded store,
tore down a dress that said bride —
and slowly unraveled there right on the floor,
sinking into another world’s arms and waiting
(trying to…