Saving Face

A Poem

Photo by Zohre Nemati on Unsplash

i walk the lines every day —
always minding my own business —
even as a part of me feels accused
at every end of the stratosphere

and i watch you,
squinting,
trying to figure you out —
even as a part of me wills itself

to stop

but i want to know you
beyond a happening of a moment —
and i linger on you far too much
in spite of my mental health

(and, oh, my mental health screams at me —
trying to make me see some sense)

i tread the lines,
pacing myself,
asking the me of yesterday
where she’s gone today

(and she doesn’t answer —
she never answers)

and i walk the horizontal paths
even as the vertical ones
ask so much of me
while the gutter questions me

(and, oh, there’s a life to live
in that statement, isn’t there?)