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Santa’s Secrets
Even Jolly Old Saint Nick needs a break sometimes.
You might be surprised to know that Santa Claus always makes a certain pit stop just right before dawn on Christmas morning. Even with the use of magic, going to 195 countries in the span of hours across different timezones would take a lot out of anyone. But we’re not here to talk logistics. That’s someone else’s job.
Me? My name’s Fran. I’m an elf who’s worked for the Claus family for generations. If you ever received a gadget on Christmas, chances are that I had something to do with the process. But, again, I’m getting away from the topic at hand.
We’d never tell Mrs. Claus, but Santa has had a girl on the side for years. I don’t know her name — some secrets are best left buried six feet under — but the rumors go that she’s quite the charmer with a nice silver tongue. That’s how she’s able to keep up with an immortal being like Santa. But everything else — well, Santa knows how to pay off the right people to keep their mouths shut. After all, who would want to piss off Father Christmas himself?
I only know so much because I was dating the guy investigating Santa a few years back. Then he went MIA, and I haven’t heard a peep about him since. Like I said, no one really messes with someone like Santa — at least not without paying a price in the process.
