Peace May Be What I Desire Most of All

Why does it have to be something so hard to find?

Photo by Thien Dang on Unsplash

I’ve taken to sighing a lot while I’m sitting at my work desk.

Sometimes the sigh will come at a brief reprieve, right before my hands hit the keyboard again, and I take the moment to recognize that I’m not where I truly want to be.

Yet thinking to the want of it all — it seems selfish and a bit too twee. Aren’t I lucky to have found a spot where I’m making decent money after struggling for a year to find a worthwhile job? I remember those dark moments when I stared at an empty inbox and felt my own personal worth plummet the longer I found no space to call my own.

Careers — we make so much of them, and we chisel out our lives to forty-hour segments while we try to find all the cracks in between that will allow us to feel fulfilled in more than just a way to monetize our time.

I don’t think most of my friends have “careers”: rather, I think, they have things they do so that they can have the funds to do what they want to do during the rest of their time. This is how it is for a lot of first-world individuals who have gone through the ringers of the diploma race.

And then some — well, there are rare ones who break out of the mold and strive to carve out their own paths…