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Old White Dudes Are So Bored and Privileged That They’re Growing Pet Moss

I wish I were lying or making this up.

Jillian Spiridon
3 min readNov 4, 2021

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Photo by Artem Makarov on Unsplash

Enter scene: in a corner of the living room sits a bowl in which lies suspended a chunk of greenery. From afar, it looks like someone has taken a handful of grass and dirt and thrown it in water. There are even some pebbles at the bottom, maybe to weigh down the bowl that looks like a goldfish’s abandoned home.

I keep taking peeks at this oddity. Is this some new trend? Aquatic gardening, maybe?

Later, supplied by the owner himself, comes the answer: it’s called “pet moss.”

I’ve heard of pet rocks. Those were a fad once, right?

But I can’t help but think the whole thing is a bit inane. If you have the money to invest in growing your own little moss thing (For what purpose? Hell if I know), then why aren’t you adding that little chunk to go to some charity? I’m sure some kid out there would like a donated winter coat rather than what it took you to buy that whole set-up for a…growing moss being.

Did I mention this guy is a boomer in his sixties and his portfolio is supposedly worth a million dollars?

Yeah. He’s part of my extended family. His increasing wealth is always a point of fascination (and envy) for…

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Jillian Spiridon
Jillian Spiridon

Written by Jillian Spiridon

just another writer with too many cats

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