No One

A Poem

Photo by Aiony Haust on Unsplash

all these things i cannot do —
they number book upon book
shoved on my nightstand,
teetering in a pile,
never to be known
(again and again and again)

i look in the mirror every day,
and i see someone
who’s better off not being known

i see someone
who is a no one
in every nature of the phrase

the stepping stones of life
never suited me,
and they cast me in doubts
all the damn time
until all i could do
was cry in my corner

(wishing for more, never gaining more,
always falling short)

i fell back in other people’s expectations,
and i let them define me
until i didn’t know who i was

(i still don’t know who i am)

and every day i ask myself
just what i've done
to deserve this lot
in my ungrateful life