Member-only story
Mea Sola Angelus
There are other stories to tell, but hers is mine.
There are men who will tell you lies about what they want. Women think they know what men want from porn and the like — but have they ever lived inside our shoes? Fantasy is not always reality. The politics of sex and romance are so much deeper than can be conveyed through a screen or the pages of a book.
A girl I once loved thought she knew how to get to the heart of me. She read all the books I liked. She volunteered to watch porn with me. She played at being different versions of herself every day all for the hope of being the sole variant that could enchant me for all of time. I liked the attention, it was true, but I craved something else. Something more. Something deeper than a passing fancy that would sputter out in the light of day.
Then I happened to be at the bar one night — just a whim, really, since I would have preferred something stronger from my liquor cabinet at home — when I glanced the way of a girl who seemed lost in thought. She had a cell phone on the bar counter, its face illuminated with unread texts, but she made no move to answer the siren calls for her attention. I was intrigued, to say the least. Most of my friends were bound by the whims of their cell phones. Even I had my own dance with the devil when it came to the internet and social media.
