Member-only story
Loving You Was Sorrow’s Knot
And I had to untie the threads.
I saw you at the bar with Nash and Tori, but I didn’t stop to say hello. Instead, I ducked into the nearest bathroom and felt my stomach churn as I hunched over a toilet, my knees pressed to the tiled floor. And behind my eyelids was you — your free-flowing dark hair, your jade green eyes, that spark of a smile that lit me up inside as if I were a fireworks display on the fourth of July.
My heart sped up as I tried not to choke on the sadness.
Oh, it was so wrong that I was not out there with you, close enough to catch your hand in mine and bring your knuckles to my mouth for a swift kiss.
Oh, it was so wrong that I was left with all this regret while you went along with your life as if we weren’t a trainwreck that still needed emergency help brought to the scene.
I could have been lying on the floor, my heart shattered into a thousand pieces, and you wouldn’t have looked my way even once.
When you left our apartment, I was the one crawling towards you and sobbing right before you walked out the door. Then the days blurred into one another as time ceased to have any kind of real meaning. I went to my job like usual, I went through the motions with all our mutual friends, and I laughed along with every joke as if I…
