Loneliness and Marriage Should Never Mix

I’m the by-product of such a union.

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

I can’t remember one year where my parents celebrated their wedding anniversary. Sometimes I even forget that they married on Christmas Eve a few years before I was born.

I have seen a few pictures of that day. There was a snowstorm in Chicago, and my parents stood in that picturesque downtown setting, all smiles for the camera as they were surrounded by the people they loved. Everyone looked so happy.

I don’t equate happiness with much of my parents’ marriage. Mostly what I remember is the heat of the arguments and the ever-present struggle of money, money, money. Maybe if things had been different my parents might have had a chance of being content, if not happy, with each other.

Screams, slammed doors, a pall of sadness — these are the things I recall on the reels in my memories. It’s hard to forget those moments where you hated your father and resented your mother’s frustrations, however valid they were.

As I grew older, my mother made a point to tell me often that she had married my father out of loneliness. And it was apparent in my everyday life that they were like oil and water as far as personality, dreams, and desires. My mother was a vivacious spirit, always up for a good joke or two, and my dad — well…