Like a Comet

A Poem

Jillian Spiridon


Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

i was going to take the long way down —
but now i’m not so sure about it at all
because heaven above is never kind
and hell below is just a sorry fixation

the truth is that i’m lost like any wayward soul
and i don’t have a thing to welcome me before the gods,
but i try and try and try again each day regardless
as if i’m a beacon in the darkest night

but life is too much, it seems, again and again
till i run dry with every fickle fancy
and i’m so lost in my own head
that i can’t make sense

of up, down, below, sideways — what have you

i loved no one,
and i found no one,
and i thought i was losing my mind
till i couldn’t breathe for the suffocation of it all

oh, i get so sad again and again and again —
and it says something about me that all i’m doing
is standing still at some crossroads unknown
with nothing to do but stand, stand, stand

and it’s nothing to say
i’m a missing number in the street
and it’s nothing to say
i’m just a standby in the wings

oh, i’m so unhappy in my own skin
till i can’t breathe, i can’t breathe, i can’t breathe —
and i’m lost in some transient revelry
begone by the gods up on high

oh, i wasn’t wanted —
my chest bears the scars in beats —
and, oh, i wasn’t wanted
because they never looked my way once

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