Life’s a Dream When You’re With the One You Love

Or is that just a fallacy?

Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

Hey, we’ve had a good time, haven’t we?

It’s been a good run for two kids who didn’t know a thing about love.

(Why are you giving me that look? It’s always like this with you. You never hide how you feel. I should like that about you, but I hate it. Maybe even envy it. I can never be like you. Maybe that’s why it seemed like a good idea to be your girlfriend. Well, time’s passed, and now I’m rethinking things. But I can’t say that. Not yet.)

I just thought you’d like to try things out before we got too settled down. I mean, are you even the marriage type? You hate all the weddings we go to. “Too much money,” you grumble, as if that’s an excuse when everyone else is proclaiming their love to the rooftops with a wedding that puts the happy couple in premarital debt.

(Oh, I’ve said too much. There’s that look again. See, this is why I keep my mouth shut. You have those eyes that just judge me and don’t leave any room for hope of improvement. Why did we move in together again? I know you hate seeing the dirty laundry pile up, so you should just open your mouth and say it. We’re through, aren’t we?)

I guess what I’m saying is that maybe we should scale things back. You wanted to get rid of the apartment anyway, right? You wanted a better place. And, well, I think I may need to be on my own again. Just once more, to remember what it feels like to be alone with my own thoughts. I mean, sure, we still like each other, but don’t you feel like we’ve just become glorified roommates?

(Now you’re not saying anything. You’re just staring down at your drink as if you wish the tomato juice and vodka could just swallow you up right here and now. Maybe I shouldn’t have brought this up on our anniversary. But I needed to say it. Someone needed to say it. The appetizer and cocktails couldn’t stop this ship from sinking any further.)

Oh, fine, maybe we need a few more drinks. Excuse me, waiter —

Oh. What are you doing?

Oh. Oh.

(Oh no.)

(You’re getting down on one knee, and you look like you’ve choked down a handful of screws. “I wanted it to…