Member-only story
Left to My Own Devices
A Poem
i walked down those same paths
we’d traversed once upon a long time ago
as if my steps could reclaim the magic of what once was.
i passed by every old haunt —
the ice cream shop with the tin sign
and the gift shops with their tourist trap trinkets —
and every door i darkened
made me remember the heartbeat of you
before you fell into the oblivion and silence beyond.
i fell into rhythm along the boulevard
and danced to the music in my head, thrumming,
like the echoes of you were leading me along in time.
i even went to the graveyard
and passed by the people who left us first,
all the legacies unsaid from other eras long gone.
but the truth is i’m a fool
when i’m left to my own devices —
i’ve never done well without the ghost of you.
i dreamed my way here, maybe,
before you had a chance to haunt me true
and make me realize what a shell i’ve become.
