I’ve Lost My Way

A Poem

Photo by Susie Burleson on Unsplash

i gave up on god
when he disappointed me,
and i told myself so often
i’d never go back.

but there’s still something
about sitting underneath stained glass
while sunlight streams through to make
miracles of humans who suffered just like we do.

and i look in the mirror
and see that i’ve lost my way
because nothing tethers me
to this world anymore.

the news every night blares its warnings
while people like you and me cry and cry,
wishing the world weren’t made up
of devils wearing smiling faces.

and, oh, i’ve tried to pray
again and again and again,
only to look down upon
my cold and empty hands.

the tears spill out in warm rushes,
burning like fire down my cheeks,
because i crave so much
that i can’t give myself.

is god the answer, the cure,
the hope, the flame, the truth —
or are we all just…