I'm in the same boat, really, since I hate plotting. My mind doesn't mesh well with the idea of outlining a story beginning to end and THEN going back to flesh out the rest of the beast's skeleton. So I do understand your struggle. Just know that there are ways out there to mesh elements of plotting into the spirit of pantsing. Like, for me, I sometimes write a synopsis - maybe a paragraph long - and follow that. I just need an idea of where I'm going rather than the whole journey laid out for me, you know? I hope you're able to find the perfect way for you to dance with your muse AND your inner critic.