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I’m an Actor in Bad Faith
Play on words or oxymoron? You decide.
It was supposed to be just a simple drive across state lines.
But up ahead on the right, facing out from an expanse of trees, was a billboard blaring the words: “Where are you going? Heaven or Hell?”
I didn’t remark on it, but even glancing away did nothing to halt the stream of words to my brain.
Once, those words might have shaken my spirit and made my heart race with unease.
Now, I just contemplate them like a puzzle I’m still trying to solve.
My relationship with religion has been a toxic one, but that’ll happen when you look back at your life and feel you were essentially brainwashed because of timing and circumstance.
I attended a Baptist school for twelve years of my life. During those years, I thought I was on good terms with God, and there are still certain moments I can recall where I felt moved by a force greater than me. During such times, it was easy to imagine it was the work of the Holy Spirit. That was what I had been taught, after all.
But no one should feel forced into a specific set of beliefs. That’s mainly what I struggle with now: did I truly have faith in a higher power, or did I just go along because it was easier than rebelling…
