I’m Allowed to Have Nice Things Even Though I’m Poor

At least offer me some dignity.

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

After a year contorted with financial struggles, I’ve come to a realization that I have quite a complicated relationship with money — as I’m sure many people do. “Want” wars with “need” in an eternal tussle of importance. For a long time, it was a far-off dream to make over ten dollars an hour at a job. I am unmarried and childless while also living under the roof of immediate family, so my struggles aren’t nearly as exacerbated as they could be.

Yet. Yet.

I sometimes feel this unsaid pressure that I should never dip into the realm of “treating” myself. One of my friends needles me all the time. “Is that a new bag?” or “Is that a new shirt?” — and usually the answer is, “I’ve had this for a few years.” But underneath is the implication that I should never deviate from my budget just because I make only so much money a month.

Years ago, I remember seeing a social media post about someone being shamed for having a new iPhone despite the fact she was living beneath the poverty level. The post’s creator went on to defend her purchase; unbeknownst to everyone who might have been judging her, she had put money aside each month for this “splurge.” The seemingly frivolous buy was a way for her to assert her autonomy in an economy that…