I Reach For You, But You’re No Longer There

I stopped circling the memory of you.

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

You may be surprised.

Once, I gave you the impression that I’d be waiting for you forever.

Maybe you’d be disappointed. You liked having the spotlight of people’s attention, so how was it when you got to play the center of someone’s universe?

The people who are like that — well, they’re not equipped with the smallest of egos. It must be hard to step back and realize you’re no longer being pined after as if you’re the hero in some Sunday night drama.

You may think you fooled me — fooled everyone — but I caught on. It happened after the first time you left me behind. You thought I welcomed you back with open arms — so easy, you might have noted, giving yourself a pat on the back.

But that wasn’t how the story went. Just because I kept quiet didn’t mean I had no questions. Or hurt feelings. Or a need for some kind of explanation.

No, I just decided to let all of it slide. Why? Because I cared about you. I didn’t want to be a person you couldn’t rely on. If anything, I wanted to show you that someone could actually take the time and put you first.

That 3 AM phone call? That was me talking you through it.