I Once Looked Forward to Sleep and the Dreams Waiting for Me

Now — well, it’s a bit precarious.

Image by Thaynara Thay from Pixabay

I’ve been having dreams about my old school days lately. The one reason I can think why is that I find myself in uncertain circumstances regarding my life decisions — and the last time I felt so helpless was the time leading up to my high school graduation.

The classmates of yesteryear are often the main stars of my dreams. I haven’t spoken to these people in over a decade, yet they still populate my dream world and have the power to turn my mood into darker shades. The girl who always resented me (and bullied me in elementary school) manages to step into my dreams most often. I wonder sometimes if she ever outgrew that mean girl vibe she carried with her all the way through senior year.

I recall the one boy I crushed on for six years, all the way from second grade to eighth grade. I never got to say goodbye to him, so there’s some missed chance at closure there. He’s a background player in my dreams once or twice a year. I wonder how he’d feel if he knew he had such an effect one me even now.

Then there are the teachers — some who have probably departed this life by now — but they still have places in my dreams. Tests I’ll never have to take, play performances I don’t have to practice for, whole school days…