Member-only story
I Meet My Beloved in Dreams
Between sunset and sunrise is the twilight of my mind.
When I rolled over in bed each night, I crumpled my pillow below my head as if the action would distract me from thoughts of you. But then I would drift into that space between reality and dreams, realizing a world where I wouldn’t be apart from you.
If I closed my eyes just right, I could pretend we inhabited the same space. You would slide your hand down my back, trailing each spire and valley of my spine until I would shiver from the delicious ache I felt in my heart. Then I would tilt my head just so until I caught your eye and you smiled at me as if you could follow each map of my thoughts. Ours would be a silent conversation.
I would always be an open book, and you would page through my contents as if every little anecdote fascinated you. That would be how I kept you fascinated even when other things — like all my quiet phases building a wall — pushed you from the edges of my boundaries. I would be a mystery in a pretty frame. I would be a wonder wrapped in human skin.
Would it ever have been enough? I didn’t need to ask. There was a reason I had to conjure dreams just to be within the illusion of your orbit.
Closing my eyes would bring relief as I imagined you bringing a kiss to my temple just to…
