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I Gravitate Towards Unavailable Men and Wonder Why I’m Still Alone
I swear it’s not intentional — it just…happens.
One of my friends is talking about getting married. After a whirlwind romance during a life-altering pandemic, he is throwing caution to the wind — and I have to keep my mouth shut because I don’t want to offend him.
We could get into semantics — like how I don’t believe in the institution of marriage for myself and side-eye anyone who wants to marry young without much, much thought — but I’ll lay the truth out there: this was a guy I had hoped would someday look at me a different sort of way.
That didn’t happen, obviously, and I’m dealing with it the best I can. I actually thought I was fine with the status quo — until the marriage talk and starry-eyed wistfulness began from his end.
I’ve had guy friends who have wandered in and out of committed relationships. I’ve had pesky feelings that just wouldn’t quit despite my knowledge that, unless there’s a miraculous shift of some kind, these men would just remain friends to me in the years to come. I’ve made my peace with these various factors.
But I’m still lonely at all the wrong moments. Companionship alone seems like something from a centuries-old guidebook to courtship. I’ve learned the hard way that…
