Member-only story
Hey, I’m Not That Broken-Hearted
(Oh, wait, maybe that’s a lie.)
You might look at that title and think, “Oh, man, here we go again,” while you try to avoid rolling your eyes. “What guy has she allowed to creep into her heart again?”
And I’d say, “I’m not that predictable!” — or, well, I wish I could say that.
But anyway…
I’m trying not to be the unreliable narrator of my life. Though I look like a calm surface to almost everyone who meets me, the truth is that I am usually a tangle of feelings and anxieties. I think the only ones who really understand are my family and, for some strange reason, my new boss. The latter has even come to inform me multiple times, “Don’t worry about it,” when pertaining to situations where I tend to overreact with concern. (I am a raging perfectionist when it comes to tasks, so of course she has had to talk me out of a few instances where I blew things out of proportion.)
The gist of things: I feel too deeply sometimes.
Guys in particular seem to sense this tendency, thus why they shy away from me. Once they get to know me, I must seem like an emotion-bomb ready to explode at any moment.
The latest guy on the list has been an escape artist of ultimate proportions. It became confusing about whether I could call him a…
