Member-only story
He Said I Was “Too Intense,” and I’ve Had a Complex Ever Since
How do I keep making the wrong impressions that drive people away?
A few years ago, a friend I was crushing on ended our relationship with a text. In just a handful of words, he said I came on too strong and was “too intense” for him. If I had been standing there in front of him, I might have laughed in his face.
I mean, hey, that’s better than being called dull, right?
Maybe I was too intense from the way I delighted in conversations over shared interests. I loved meeting people who had the same hobbies I did. Back in high school, I had to keep all my interests a secret because my school was strict and very prone to banning things from Pokemon to the choice of girls to dye their hair. I never had the chance to meet people who were outwardly nerdy — and proud of it.
Or maybe I was too intense with the way I listened to people, my chin in my hand, as they talked about things that excited them or made them happy. Hearing such joy made me think I might someday feel that same way about something. Perhaps I wasn’t as immune to things like passion as I had thought.
You could call me too intense in the way I chatted incessantly to people who decided to let it slide when I didn’t make the best first…
