Giving Up The Ghosts

A Poem

Photo by Tandem X Visuals on Unsplash

there’s noise in my head again,
and i can’t tell up from down today
because heaven doesn’t exist anymore
and i’ve been hell-bound far too long.

oh, the ghosts all have nice smiles,
nice intellect, nice charm,
nice happenstances of being —
but none of them are for me.

i look at myself in the mirror
and see a monster in my skin.

i look at my hands and see
veins with blood i wish to cut.

there’s truth, and then there are lies —
and you’ve all given me plenty
just to see your stars shine bright
and i’m fucking sick of it.

you don’t care about me, you never have:
you just want the easy way to fame
you can’t reclaim on your own
because you don’t have what it takes.

but i’ll stay silent, i’ll cut the ties,
i’ll become a mirage of a person
because that’s where fate’s been leading
all along, all along, all along.