Game Over

A Poem

Photo by Mike Meyers on Unsplash

there are so many things i wanted —
things i questioned in the dark of the night,
answers for things i couldn’t name
in the space of a moment

(and the space of a moment was unwinding,
bit by bit, till all i knew was something else —
something away from the here and now)

and vague qualities were never mine to keep
even as i thought answers had to be concrete
for anything to make sense
(make sense of this and what you are)

and you, you, you —
i stand at the altar of you,
kneeling,
looking up with my eyes aglow

and your eyes are elsewhere,
always elsewhere,
pining for something
i can’t name

i crippled myself
for you —
all for you, all for you —
even though you wouldn’t give a name
to what we were or what we had become

and the moments build and build
in metaphors i can’t even speak —
and the answers die on…