For the Record

Jillian Spiridon
2 min readJul 12, 2021

Poetry

Photo by Jason Hafso on Unsplash

Let me preface by saying that you don’t want

to follow in my footsteps but instead tread the path

running adjacent, the lower road, because as it goes

the high road is not always the most ideal.

I’ve been called a doormat and a pushover,

every niggling attack against my character,

all because I take “being nice” too seriously

and don’t want to get on anyone’s bad side.

“Do me a favor,” though, results in frustration

because all I can think of is how I’ll lose out

in this deal that does not benefit me at all.

But “be a good girl” and “play nice” have always been

my greatest downfalls, bar few other elsewise.

I’m the shoulder to cry on, the apt listener,

the mountain for others when in fact I’m a rock

that’s eroding from the inside-out slowly but surely.

*

I’m the stepping stone, the last to be called,

the one who receives an invite too late,

but when someone needs something

it’s me to the rescue when I can barely

even bother to save myself most days.

But no, I’m the superhero without the fame,

the guru who doesn’t know a whit yet

everyone wants a free therapy session.

I said I wouldn’t disparage others, no siree,

yet here I am pouting in prose fashion

because I can’t use my voice to say,

“Stop using me, stop taking advantage,

stop looking to me to be your savior.”

I’m not asking for medals or honors;

I just want some peace for myself.

Don’t you think you’d want the same?

*

But I’m still unseen, even to the “friends”

who would pass by me without a word

Jillian Spiridon

just another writer with too many cats