Member-only story
Don’t Be Such a Drama Llama, Audrey
We talked about this, remember?
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I say when I see Candace pull up in a yellow Bug with a patched-up back window.
“Your chariot awaits!” she gushes, all smiles. I still can’t get over the fact that she drove here without being able to see clearly through the clouded cellophane tape. Better than duck tape, I guess.
“Nope, nope, nope,” I say as I start moving away from the mustard-colored death trap. If she had pulled up in a bullet hole-ridden party bus, maybe I would have taken the chance, but a Bug? No way. They don’t even make new ones anymore, and it’s not old enough to be vintage cool.
“Aww, come on!” Candace exclaims as she rushes from the car and around its cramped girth. “I thought you’d like it. Eddie said I could have her for the weekend.”
“Don’t tell me you rented it from him. That thing’s not worth it.”
“Shh, shh, shh, you’ll hurt her feelings.” When I give Candace the stink-eye, she just grins at me. “Lighten up. Don’t be such a drama llama, Audrey. We talked about this, remember?”
I close my eyes and count to ten as I breathe in deep and then exhale. When I open my eyes again, Candace looks like a puppy waiting for a scolding. And I can’t do it. I just can’t.