Damaged Goods

A Poem

Photo by Rachel Coyne on Unsplash

could you see through me from the start?
did you see the scars and think,
“no, she’s not the one for me”?

or was it something more
like my chaos
leaking through?

i thought i was being transparent,
laying all my cards out,
but you didn’t even look at me
as if you were embarrassed for me.

i waited on you to say something kind,
but i’m still hanging by a lonely thread
of what i might have meant to you.

but perhaps that was your kindness
in not being able to say the words
that, no, i wouldn’t be joining you
on all your adventures ever after.

could you see that i was down for the count
and never able to rise again from the ashes?
did my broken pieces make you bleed?

or was it something about my laugh
and the way i avoided your eyes
when i felt like crying?