Boys Become Better Ghosts Than Lovers

Disappearing acts seem to be the norm.

Photo by Gabriel on Unsplash

I’ve made it clear in the past: the majority of guys out there view me as “too intense.” To that end, I have lost a lot of guy friends over the years. Maybe they thought I was perpetually projecting heart-eyes at them, but there have been a number of them who have said I’d gotten a tad too attached.

What ends up happening? After they make their cases clear, they disappear. Ghosts, the lot of them. I don’t often even have the chance to make a would-be case for myself. They just delete themselves from my life, as simple as that.

And then there I am, confused, as I try to pick up the pieces of what I thought was something good — a friendship between equals, camaraderie born from shared experiences.

What’s odd about these situations is that I’m not the one to bring romance — or even a hint of it — into the equation. These guys I like as hey-let’s-chat-and-talk-about-our-lives types always seem to assume I’m going to glomp onto them as the stand-in love interests in the story of my life.

And I come away thinking, “This is why so many people believe men and women can’t just be friends.” It’s sad, isn’t it? Just because I go, “Hey, you’re a cool person, let’s get to know each other,” the majority of guys I’ve known have…